When it comes to the availability of reading material for a person entering the profession, it is very easy to become overwhelmed by the sheer number of good options. This is a curated list based on the books that I have found to be the most helpful, as a white social worker, in developing as a clinician. So, in no particular order, these are my best reading recommendations (with full recognition of my own bias and limitations).
1. The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients by Irvin Yalom
I have always been inspired by Yalom's emphasis on the client/therapist relationship and his willingness to be flexible in how we help. His style of writing and interwoven humor makes this work feel more accessible for someone just getting started. He touches on a lot of topics which are intimidating when first entering the therapy space and challenges some of the concepts we are taught while in school. Agree or disagree, his many years of experience offer a perspective that encourages fostering relationships and maintaining honesty with ourselves and with our clients. It has been some years since I last read this book and I think I could benefit from a refresher of its wisdom, it is definitely high up on my TBR list for a reread.
"Though there are many phrases for the therapeutic relationship (patient/therapist, client/counselor, analysand/analyst, client/facilitator, and the latest—and, by far, the most repulsive—user/provider), none of these phrases accurately convey my sense of the therapeutic relationship. Instead I prefer to think of my patients and myself as fellow travelers, a term that abolishes distinctions between "them" (the afflicted) and "us" (the healers)." (Yalom, The Gift of Therapy)
2. Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
When entering the field, I had no idea what subjects would end up being the most uncomfortable for me. I learned very quickly that clients will discuss anything with their therapist. It is a good idea to get in touch with the subjects that make you feel uncomfortable and explore where those feelings come from. This book was part of my re-education in confronting my uncertainty about discussing sex. Nagoski's book also brings light to a complex system, of which we have a very limited education within our public school systems. She aims to educate and reduce shame around sex, libido, orgasm, and relationships. Her focus on normalizing all experiences and bodies is aligned with the goals any good therapist will have with their clients.
"I am done living in a world where women are lied to about their bodies; where women are objects of sexual desire but not subjects of sexual pleasure; where sex is used as a weapon against women; and where women believe their bodies are broken, simply because those bodies are not male. And I am done living in a world where women are trained from birth to treat their bodies as the enemy." (Nagoski, Come As You Are)
3. The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce D. Perry
I read this book long before I became a therapist or considered focusing specifically on trauma, but it shaped how I look at the field and particularly what it is to work with survivors of trauma. I am sure that some looking at this list would be surprised at the absence of The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, but, while it is iconic and important, I think that this book does a better job of demonstrating the impact of trauma in a way that is accessible for therapists, with a particular focus on the importance of relationships. It was in reading this book that I came to truly understand the significance of attachment trauma on our ability to function wholly. The author provides an excellent perspective on how impactful trauma can be, while instilling the reader with the hope that healing can happen. At times this can be a difficult read, as it describes horrific incidences of child abuse and neglect, but it is the top of the list of books I would recommend for those considering working with trauma.
"Because humans are inescapably social beings, the worst catastrophes that can befall us inevitably involve relational loss. As a result, recovery from trauma and neglect is also all about relationships—rebuilding trust, regaining confidence, returning to a sense of security and reconnecting to love." (Perry, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog)
4. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
Not directly connected with mental health, this book describes the experience of intuition and subconscious awareness of danger. From the perspective of a therapist, it helps to facilitate conversations around trusting oneself and the importance of setting boundaries, even when it is uncomfortable to do so. It gives further insights for us as clinicians sharing space with clients and attempting to understand them, not only through what they say, but all of their subterranean nonverbal cues. However, I recommend this book be read with some acknowledgment of the failure to address the roles of racism and privilege. He does not address the racial biases which shape the visceral fear reactions of some individuals he relies heavily on the assumption that knowing that danger exists by listening to our intuition automatically implies the ability to act. This book deserves a trigger warning, as he often describes incidences of horrific violence and is at times victim blaming toward survivors of domestic violence.
"Too often we chide ourselves for even momentarily giving validity to the feeling that someone is behind us on a seemingly empty street, or that someone's unusual behavior might be sinister. Instead of being grateful to have a powerful internal resource, grateful for the self care, instead of entertaining the possibility that our minds might actually be working for us and not just playing tricks on us, we rush to ridicule the impulse." (de Becker, The Gift of Fear)
5. The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
I have added this book to the list because it encourages a deeper understanding of the world we live in beyond the scope of our own perspectives. The New Jim Crow is a thorough examination of just how pervasive systemic racism is in this country, in particular how it impacts black men. As therapists, particularly white therapists, it is not enough for us to recognize the concept of systemic racism without intention to further learn and understand how it impacts the communities we serve. Unfortunately, our education is not enough and it is essential that we seek continuing education and resources relating to topics of racism and injustice, because they will inevitably exist in our therapy spaces. Either through the lived experiences of our clients, or through our own internal beliefs and biases, these issues will be recurring in working with diverse clients and reading books like this help us to recognize all that we carry into the room when we seek to build a therapeutic alliance.
"As a criminal, you have scarcely more rights, and arguably less respect, than a black man living in Alabama at the height of Jim Crow. We have not ended racial caste in America; we have merely redesigned it." (Alexander, The New Jim Crow)
6. Loves Executioner by Irvin Yalom
Can you tell I am a Yalom fan? Another iconic pick when it comes to a reading list for therapists, Loves Executioner is a set of case examples from Yalom's own practice which help highlight some of the ups and downs of working with different clients, while still identifying the universal threads of emotions and beliefs that connect us all. Though it is uncomfortable to hear some of his thoughts about women, his honesty about his own prejudices and missteps help normalize the mistakes that we will all make. His work tends to highlight just how human we all are and though we all strive to be the perfect therapist, we never stop being a person who is prone to all the pitfalls of our species.
“In choosing to enter fully into each patient’s life, I, the therapist, not only am exposed to the same existential issues as are my patients but must be prepared to examine them with the same rules of inquiry. I must assume that knowing is better than not knowing, venturing than not venturing; and that magic and illusion, however rich, however alluring, ultimately weaken the human spirit.” (Yalom, Loves Executioner)
7. Emotional First Aid by Guy Winch
Sometimes clients will come in overflowing with distress and symptoms, and this book offers a practical guide for supporting them. Winch does an excellent job providing coping skills and effective examples to support clients who want solution focused help. Coping skills will likely be the most requested assistance by clients and a commonly recurring focus within your treatment plans, it is not a bad idea to have a way to communicate and educate about these types of interventions. Though it has been many years since I read this book, I still use some of his picturesque and accessible examples to help explain emotional wounds to my own clients.
"But while every household has a medicine cabinet full of bandages, ointments, and pain relievers for treating basic physical maladies, we have no such medicine cabinet for the minor psychological injuries we sustain in daily life." (Winch, Emotional First Aid)
8. Tapping In by Laurel Parnell
This guide to resource building through bilateral tapping is a must read for a therapist who is considering EMDR training. It can be the introduction to a technique to enhance connection to comfort and joy while serving as a foundation to understanding EMDR as a whole. Though this book is not focused on EMDR, it assists in developing the positive resources that can improve overall well-being and allow a client to tolerate more intense trauma-focused therapy interventions. As a trauma therapist, I do not often leave my clients feeling happy and excited, positive resource building with this method allows for that type of energy. EMDR was a transitional part of my career, as it gave me the tools to actually be able to create change for people who have had to carry the weight of trauma for years. This model has become one of the most essential interventions in my practice.
Everyone has positive memories and experiences. Even if you have had a terrible childhood, you have had times that were not fraught with trauma. Simple pleasure like petting your cat, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, or enjoying a good meal are stored in your warehouse of experiences." (Parnell, Tapping In)
9. Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson
Furiously Happy is a memoir focused on the experience of life with complex mental health diagnoses and the author's effort to navigate relationships, pressures, and the never ending expectations in an sometimes unforgiving society. This book brings a humorous perspective to difficult subjects with a level of honesty I came to love when I first encountered Lawson's writing. The inclusion of this book is much more personal than the majority of the others on this list, as I found solidarity and comfort in the reminder that the mental health community exists and deserves to be just as happy as everyone else. I have found this book most useful in working with clients who have severe and debilitating depression and need that promise that one day it does come to an end and we do recover.
"I wish someone had told me this simple but confusing truth: Even when everything’s going your way you can still be sad. Or anxious. Or uncomfortably numb. Because you can’t always control your brain or your emotions even when things are perfect." (Lawson, Furiously Happy)
10. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed by Lori Gottlieb
I have always been a strong believer in therapists buying their own product, meaning, we should all be in therapy at some point. I often joke with clients about their grand therapist, my own therapist, as she is an essential piece to my wellness, and therefore my ability to practice. Gottlieb describes the line between being a client and a therapist and the delicate balance we all walk in trying our best to be helpful while still being a mess ourselves at times. There is a lot of value in the humanness of therapists, so often we expect ourselves (and are expected) to always know what to do and how to respond. In my experience the best work I have been able to accomplish was when I showed up as myself in the therapy room. So, if you do not have a therapist yet, maybe start looking.
"'Your feelings don’t have to mesh with what you think they should be,' he explained. 'They’ll be there regardless, so you might as well welcome them because they hold important clues.'" (Gottlieb, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
If you would like to see my full reading list, compiled through my own research, social media, and peer recommendations, head over to Recommended Reading for Therapists.
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